When New Year’s comes around, I have always thought of the concept of a “clean slate” or “fresh new year” as a little ridiculous because, really, each moment is a new start. Each new day could be the beginning of something unbelievable. Some might even suggest that by posting these comments on January 2, I am a day late. I sometimes dream about going around and instead of repeating “Happy New Year,” what about “Happy New Day”? Or “Happy New Hour”? “Minute”? It is never too late or too soon to set a strong, fulfilling intention for life, but the new year gets a lot of media coverage. If it takes putting a “13” on the top of your checks instead of a “12” for you to change, then by all means, I do not judge!
Regardless of my thoughts on the semantics of the whole notion, I have in fact prepared some strong intentions for this new year, or new moment. But first, a reflection on the past 366 (or so) days filled with countless moments. Here are some of my favorites from 2012:
- Extended stay in Hawaii. Words will never give justice to my incredible experience on the islands. Breathtakingly stunning landscapes, waves exhibiting the power of the gods, people from out of this world. Scenes that cameras could not capture. Sailing, hiking, breathing, sitting, being. Daily experiences were magnified by the strength and finesse of the islands. Truly God’s country.
- Reconnecting with old friends. They say that when people leave you, their part in your story is over, so think about before you go chasing after them. But sometimes, they come back. I was lucky enough to have several high school and even childhood (had not seen Cayla since age 6!) return to me after time apart. I now have more in common with each of them than we ever did previously, and I am so grateful for that.
- Graduating from college. After spending so much time in 2010-2011 not being able to read, graduating from college summa cum laude was an achievement I do not dismiss. Though my degree may not be my passion–as I say when my head was taken out of the way, my heart led me otherwise–finishing college closed the door on a brilliant chapter to allow a new path to develop.
- Releasing my fear of exercise. When I was in concussion recovery, a big topic for debate was and still is the to-exercise-or-not-to-exercise question. Some say that exercise can help post-concussion recovery, others adamantly believe that abstention from exercise is the only path to healing. I found the former to be true for me, but regardless, knowing that there were two possibilities scared me for a long time. I know that a serious workout originally propelled me into post-concussive syndrome, and I did not want to do anything that would make matters worse. Even after my cognitive ability returned, I struggled with this fear. I felt like I had to keep my heart rate below a certain level, and this continued through the summer. It was not until I got to Hawaii and met my amazing friend Malcolm that I released this fear.
- I joke with Malcolm that he is Mowgli from The Jungle Book. With a lean, incredibly forceful build, Malcolm was the young man seen scampering up the coconut trees hacking down coconuts with a machete; racing up the sides of rocks on a dark, damp, moonlit evening in the jungle; repelling off of cliffs; sky diving; surfing tsunamis; hitchhiking across Maui…Malcolm was always game for an adventure. If I did not keep moving, I would not keep up. When he was not running circles around me, Malcolm pushed me past my fears. I started running when I was with him. Now, I want to go back so I can race him.
So for the next group of moments, I intend to magically create the following:
- Practice allowing and releasing judgment. More on this to follow.
- Make further steps towards the life of my dreams. I want to work in holistic medicine. I want to see people heal before my eyes because of something I helped them with. This could be something as simple as a new outlook on self (healing from lack of self-esteem), helping to ease muscle spasms with my work, or releasing a client’s pain.
- Make traveling to California and Bali a reality.
- Practice forgiveness.
- Trust and develop my intuition. So many things are up in the air for me right now. I find myself pulled in many a direction with more “jobs” than I can list, so trusting my gut instincts in each of them will be incredibly important as I move forward. Not to mention in my most recent endeavor…
- Be an inspiring and insightful influence for my new lacrosse team. In late November I accepted a position as a Varsity Lacrosse Coach at a high school in my hometown. Not only will I need to trust my intuition, but I want to work for the greater good of a group of girls who will be looking to me for guidance and support in things not just limited to lacrosse. I want to create an amazing experience, and I want us to win.
- Meditation & yoga frequently. Looking forward to my Manifestation Yoga Retreat in February at the Kripalu Center!
- Have tons of fun & relax when necessary.
- Give myself a break. I am a chronic perfectionist. School projects were always pristine, my diet is flawless, and I only put my best work forward. Sure, sounds great, but that kind of lifestyle can be exhausting. Now I want to be able to give myself a break. If I don’t meditate one day, I’m still pretty cool anyway. If I really want more carbs, then darn it all, I want to feel good about eating more carbs! All of this pressure is self-created, and now I intend to ease up on myself.
- Be open, feel beautiful, love freely.
Here’s to that silly “13” thing. Cheers!