Excerpts from my Journal [Part 2] Birthday Edition

Birthdays are funny because all our lives we write this date…on applications, Facebook accounts, tax forms, etc…yet it only comes once every 365 or 366 days. Today is that day that I have transcribed more times than I have years to count.

Once again, my journal proves to be an incredible teacher. Some of the first posts I have from more than two years ago are related to my birthday.

December 26, 2010

“I think this could be the first year in a long time that I am not looking forward to my birthday. It’s not because I am turning the boring age of 22, but because I don’t want the questions and the attention this year, and you always feel like things are worse than how bad it is already because your birthday is supposed to be so great and when it’s bad it makes it that much worse. I don’t want the Facebook wall posts and texts and phone calls and blah blah blah. I just want it to be like every other day.”

January 2, 2011

“Four days until the birthday. I think the thing that makes birthdays so hard is that we expect so much out of them. We want to have the best day and hear from all of our friends and get lots of nice presents. But that’s what also makes birthdays terrible—because they rarely live up to our expectations. There is no way I am going to be happy on my birthday this year so why even acknowledge it? I will probably turn my phone off.”

January 6, 2012

For more than a year I could not go back and read those entries because it was so painful for me to recall those feelings. However, now that I have reached a point of healing, I look at them and am so utterly grateful for the turnaround I have made and all the blessings I have on this day. I love my birthday, I love all the remarkable people in my life, and I love having a day where I decide to do whatever I want.

Birthday Hikes

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Birthday Dinner Parties

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Birthday Bouquet

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Birthday Dancing, Birthday Yoga, Birthday Cards, Birthday Messages, Birthday Friendships, Connections, & Reconnections…

Thank you for celebrating my ability to turn one year older, and one year marvelously better! xo

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