When Mother–also known as my boss on Monday through Friday–asked me this morning if I wanted to take lunch to go for a walk in the woods, I hesitated at first. The Type-A, left-brained part of me that still remains started going through the layout of the day, with practice planning, a new project to complete, and the previous mindset that I was going to be taking the day off all spinning around in between my ears. But the days that Mom asks to go out in the woods are few and far between, so I opted to be flexible.
A gorgeous day, and immediately the air of the outdoors lifted my heavy spirits. As of late, I have allowed circumstances to affect me more than I should, such as my stolen cart in Market Basket and them running out of unsweetened almond milk. Technology rejecting me and choosing today to not load the internet. Feeling lonely, controlled, upset, and lost. All of which is a reflection of the vibration I am putting out. Ah, this life.
On this walk, we took a path that I have taken so many times before, but this time I did not have my usual trail partner with me. I had to go mostly on my subconscious and my faith. From what I remembered, we were rounding the final corner when suddenly–I’m not kidding about this–there appeared a fork in the road. I contemplated it for a minute, and I said, Let’s go left.
The whole way we were traveling to the left, I was afraid I had made the wrong decision. Oh, no, I told myself, What if we went the wrong way? What if I make us late to get back and we miss projects and calls and emails? What if I made a mistake? That oh-too-familiar acquaintance grief jumped down my throat and danced the tango in my stomach.
We came up to a block in the trail, and it was at that point I knew that this was not the right way. We should have gone right. I stood there for a moment and asked my mom, Should we turn back now? Or should we trust that the trail will meet back at the main road? We opted to trust.
Once I trusted, I released. I felt so free and just kept stomping along. And sure enough, the familiar clearing welcomed me like a hug from a lovely, old friend.
I got a little emotional in this moment because of the symbolism. I usually don’t allow metaphors to affect me so strongly, but it was just too real to what I am feeling right now. Down this path I go, an unconventional path I feel strongly about, but at times as though I’m reaching out for my glasses in the dark (which has to be the most helpless feeling known), and I am not sure of the end. I’m not always sure where I am right now. But in that moment, I had this overwhelming peaceful feeling that no matter which way I go, I am going to end up in the perfect place for me. I’ll end up on the main road. Even if there seems to be a block in the road or a turn to the left.